okay. so i am just super blur and i dont know how to use a stupid calling card.

so i tried calling my brother a thousand times... cannot get through. finally the phone rang.. BUT NO ONE ANSWERED and i got directed to the answering machine. so bloody upsetting i swear. i left him a VERY short message.. like.. "hey kor, your lil sis here. mommy is worried about you. please call back ok?" there is so much more i want to say. but i dont know where to start. im afraid that once i start, i'll just start crying. i have a stack of postcards for him and looking at them just makes me wanna cry. cos i dont think i will ever get to post them to him.

i want to tell him about the family, tell him about the relatives.. ask him so many things. but i just dont know where to start. and besides i never fancied talking to myself. (read, talking to the machine.)

i miss danny lim. i want to fly to newyork and not study forever! i will go there and be a waitress forever. maybe go to the broadway on weekends.

ugh. i dont like crying.